A bit of weekend fun


TAKING CARE OF YOUR PET AUTHOR

 

If you have been lucky enough to acquire an author as a pet then here are a few simple things you should know for the care of these rare and wonderful creatures.

 

1: Your pet author comes to you complete, although there are a few accessories you may need to buy later. These may include such things as: pens, ink, paper, and books, etc. Do not skimp on these, as your pet author may pine without them.

 

2: Always remember that your pet author will need space to do things. This space may become cluttered. Whatever you do, do not attempt to tidy this area as your pet author will become confused and possibly angry.

 

3: Most pet authors are already house trained by the time you receive them; however some might need reminding about toilet issues and in some cases may need help. Again do not skimp on this, as your pet author will not like his personal space smelling badly.

 

4: Feed your pet author often (at least three times a day) and supply copious amounts of coffee and, or, wine. And remember to check for toilet issues ( see rule 3 )

 

5: You may find your pet author pacing up and down making strange sounds. Please do not worry as this is normal behavior when they are in the “creation” cycle of their life. This may happen more than once, so again do not worry.

 

6: There may come a time when your pet author will start running around, flapping its arms about and yelling incoherently about dragons etc. This is a time when you need to pamper your pet author, as it has just had what is known as an “inspirational” moment. So be happy for your pet author and make it food (remembering again to check on rule 3 afterwards).

 

7: It is important to take your pet author for walks occasionally. It may not want to go, but be firm, as the fresh air will do it good, and it may even obtain an “inspirational” moment whilst outside.

 

8: Your pet author may forget where things are outside its personal space. This is normal, and you must be patient and point out places of interest, such as; the kitchen, or where its bed is.

 

9: Grooming your pet author is important as they usually don’t have time to do it for themselves, or they may forget. This can be done whilst your pet author is in “relaxing” mode ( DO NOT attempt this whilst it is in “creation” mode! ).

 

10: Lastly, your pet author will be a loyal companion and you will have many long and happy years watching it grow and develop. So make sure you stick to these few simple rules, and enjoy your time with your pet author.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “A bit of weekend fun

  1. Can I have this engraved on a plague please. It could go in the hall so that my owner can ever be reminded about the proper care and raising of a pet author. 🙂

    • thesilentblade

      By all means copy it out, Diane. Us authors must be protected and cared for, and our owners should be aware of the proper care and attention required for looking after us 🙂

  2. That’s pure class that! Loved it.
    Cheers

    MTM

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